Soooo…where do I begin? 2020 flew by so quickly, and I was so consumed with REAL LIFE that I just had to separate myself from people, places, & things to reunite and stay connected to MY PEACE. My blog was one of the things I put on the back burner when life got hard, but I must say…
The LOVE from my ” lil bit of followers” was REAL!!!
Thank you all.
I was still getting views, yet I was producing no new content. Every view and share has been seen and appreciated.
Without further ado, let’s get into it, shall we??
Not to downplay anything, but I FINISHED MY BOOK! Hold up, wait…before you get too excited, that’s just one of the MANY DRAFTS that I have to complete and go over with my editor, who has fired me several times throughout this process. That experience will be an entire post that will hold its own; I will not leave anything out, to include the part where I literally quit everyday!
NEXT.
People. When a pandemic hits, you truly find out who ‘Your People’ are. I am not speaking of your neighbors who you just started talking to because you need a break from your kid, who is besties with their kid because of school bus rides. I am talking about homegrown relationships; people from in and out of town who genuinely know you. They know your family drama. They know your wins and losses. An unanswered phone call cannot keep ‘Your People’ from connecting with you. Being out of state will not either, nor will your deactivated social media profiles. Not even a pandemic can steal the show. They will literally ‘come see‘ about you. Lost a few relationships behind this, but gained so much clarity. Has anyone else experienced this during this season?
Vanessa Guillen. From here on out, you will not be able to look up the name ‘Vanessa’ without her face showing up. Being here in Houston, I had my heart wrapped into this case so much my chest hurt. Countless days of searching in the sweltering heat at Fort Hood, vigils held, murals created around the city-how could anyone forget her? Vanessa deserves it all-I will give her a separate post so my heart can release.
#Black Lives Matter. Even with so much going on worldwide, the BLM movement by far preceded many headlines by changing the pace of exactly what this phrase means. George Floyd had relatives right here in Houston, and this city was definitely at the forefront of the media more often than not this entire year.
When things grow quiet and calm, BLM holds steady-moving and marching. There is so much that I can say about this movement, especially being a part of the Black community, but I will refrain. Just know that I was out there with my N-95 mask on behind my black bandanna , too. #WAKANDA FOREVER.
COVID-19. To see what this disease does to the human body up close and personal has become one of my most valued experiences. I do not take this lightly. I say this because I am a people person. I like to go out. I like to have fun, and that does not mean that because I am over 30, that I like to have fun at home all the time because I DO NOT. Most importantly, I LIKE TO EAT OUT, whether it be with family or solo, just to get out of the house. If I was not able to see the magnitude of the nightmare that this pandemic has brought to my attention, I can reassure you I would be one of the people out here without a mask, probably because I would be thinking, “I’ll just wash my hands more”. Hey, I’m being honest. Yes, it’s uncomfortable-my masks even break me out on the bottom sides of my chin, but I do not remove it, sometimes for 12-14 hours a day. Coronavirus is REAL, folks. WEAR YA DAMN MASK!!!
RIP Granny. March 13th, 2020 was a day of grief and joy for me on so many levels. Many get sad when our loved ones die, but I was at peace when Grandma Buck took her last breath. She held on as if she did not want to leave this world behind. Earlier in the day, we shed tears together as I asked her if she was scared, and she nodded that she was. I told her that she did not have to be. The next morning, birds began to chirp above her window as her breathing was so shallow that the nurse & I counted FOUR BREATHS a minute. It was hard to watch my hero die, but the pain was necessary to mold me for my next phase. My grandmother would not have survived COVID-19, especially living in a nursing home. At the time, I did not know this, but God did. The days, weeks, and even months after my grandmother’s death, I did not have the privilege to grieve. The family was a mess; secrets were emerging left and right with no one taking accountability for their actions. No one wanted to talk things out; everyone was used to using Grandma Buck’s name as their loophole to escape their responsibilities. Grieving is an important process to go through to deal with your reality. I yearned to grieve; I needed to scream and cry out, and look at pictures through my phone, but no one recognized that I did. Towards the end of this past summer, I allowed myself the journey to REFLECT on my past, present, & future. The love for my granny lives within me forever. Her prayers have carried me through the days after her passing, and will continue to. When I feel like laying in bed and having a pity party, I do. But, not for long. I hear Grandma Buck’s voice in my head, telling me about the continuous dreams she had for me saying, “People was clappin’ for you on the stage, baby!” #IDOIT4GRANNY
There you have it. My 2020 in a nutshell. Madness and chaos wrapped all around 130 pounds of a LADY BOSS, to the point that I still make it a point to look damn good while sifting through it all. I strive to never look like what I go through; I just GROW through it.
Feel free to share your #2020 highs and lows with me below.
Peace & Blessings to you all.
