1999 was a year that was very exciting for me; it was scary as well. I secretly planned to attend East Carolina University for Music the next year, with no support from my family. My family structure was not the best or even understood. The role of my parents was filled with my grandparents in their mid-seventies, and the parents I was birthed to were replaced with an alcoholic for a father, and a drug addict for a mother. I hated the home life that I was in, and was affected by the absence of my parents especially my mother, who was in & out. In & Out. My parents never contributed to the teachings of my life. My grandmother was extremely strict to the core. No phones. No music outside of Gospel. No friends.

“No, No, No. And don’t ask me again,” she’d say.

And I did not.

The Army Recruiter that I met did not even have to do his very best job to persuade me to leave my small hometown, where the men in your families are “touchy-feely”, and romantic relationships that include 14 & 15-year old girls with 28-year old men are normal. I had friends in middle and high school that were either pregnant or had multiple children already. Unbeknownst to them , I was being beaten & punished for wanting to go and play with them. Or even talk to them. I was asked why I wanted to be friends with them.

July 10, 2000 was the day of my rebirth. This was the day of my FREEDOM.

This was the day that I joined the United States Army.

I did not mind that there was a 4 or 5 a.m. wake-up call almost everyday; that was normal for me being raised by the elderly. I did not mind that we had to wear uniforms because I was not a fan of the attire that my grandmother chose for me with the scrapings of the leftovers from the monthly welfare check she received for my brothers and I. I looked at it as an upgrade, and one less thing to worry about.

Joining the military not only gave me a chance to breathe, but it gave me a chance to give in to my fears. I was so afraid to live. So, the first chance that I got, I LIVED. I was the life of the party, and then I took the party home with me (sometimes). I had great times, bad times, ugly times, and beautiful times. Some of the men in my life taught me things that my father should have; some of the women showed me the things that my mother and my grandmother didn’t. There were different levels of people and teachings for different levels of my life.

The Army gave me chances that I am forever grateful for. It never betrayed me, although some people that I met while serving did. The Army impacted my life and helped to make the path traveled more delightful and worthwhile.

If I had different parents or another upbringing, the Army and I may have never met. I may have never gotten the chance to dance my first real intimate slow dance, fall in love, travel internationally, or meet some pretty amazing humans. It gave me a chance to hold on to things and cherish them deeply, especially the memories.

My Mother BIRTHED me.

My Grandparents RAISED me.

The Army SAVED me.